Back to the Basics....

Good Friday morning all! It has been a while.

Since my aunt passed away things have been quite crazy around here. We had TONS of family in from California and my house was sort of a base for people to shower and sleep. I ended up not being able to make it to the service Monday night because Jacob came down with strep throat. He was SO sick! By the time we got back from the doctor and I got back with his medicine it was 4:30 and the service started at 5:00 about an hour and 15 minutes away. We did enjoy seeing all of our family though. Some of them I haven't seen since 1994. And some of them had never met my children, so it was nice to see them all.

So all of this brings me to needing to get back to the basics. My home has been in such chaos that I have had no schedule at all! Amber was begging to do school yesterday because it has been so long since I have done any with her. So Monday is the day to get back on track! New week, new schedule, new way of thinking!

On a better note, Jacob has kept up with his school and not gotten behind. I got his school stuff and Amber's kindergarten stuff ordered for the Fall. We got our income tax and I always do that first thing. That way I have it in the Fall and we are ready to go! This next year will be different though with Amber doing school every day. I am going to have to stay on top of things better than I have in the past. And she is ready! She is so excited about starting school. And I am so glad that she is! LOL It makes it easier on me.

I also paid off my stove that I had to get a few months ago. That was nice. And I got a new microwave that goes over my stove. My old one was VERY old and started getting mold in it. So it had to go! Now this weekend we are planning on going van shopping! Please pray that we make the right choice and get the right one. We want God's will on this one.

Well, I guess I am gonna go for now. Here are some before and after pictures of my microwave. Just keep in mind that I have flat paint until my hubby repaints, so there are lots of grease spots on my wall, it looks so gross! Sorry.

Have a great weekend!!!

I was so proud of my hubby, he had to do electrical work and everything!!!

There used to be a vent hood in the empty space right under the cabinet, I didn't think of my camera until we already had it down.

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Before

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My new microwave!(on the table)

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My hubby with his finished product! How handsome is he!

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After! I LOVE it!!!!

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Sad news...

I just wanted to let you all know that my aunt Annette passed away last night. Her 2 children need your prayers. She had no life insurance and they are trying to raise the money they need.

Also we have some unsaved people in our family that I am praying will be impacted during this time and make a decision to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior.

I will probably not be posting for a while.

Update on Amanda

I wanted to let you all know that my step-sister, Amanda, finally had her baby this morning. Not sure if it was a boy or girl, so since she has 3 boys already they are assuming that it was a boy and named him Tucker. They said that the baby had separated from the placenta and that is what caused this. They are now waiting for her to pass the placenta.
Amanda started running a high fever last night and that is gone today. So I am praying that there is no long term problems from this, infections etc.

Thank you all for your prayers. The family appreciates it.

Oh how time flies....

Hello all! Sorry it has been so long. We have been busy around here.

I am feeling some better. I still have some pain in the mornings but it is getting better.

We have had some snow since I last posted. I have pictures to share.

My aunt has gotten worse and has been in the hospital. My aunt Sherry came from California to visit her one last time since she doesn't have much time. The doctors have given her about 6 months if she continues to not take the meds that she is supposed to take.

I have a prayer request too, my step-sister, Amanda, who lost her baby last night and today she is in the hospital having to deliver it. She was 17 weeks along. Please pray for peace and healing for her. She has 3 little ones at home.

We have been getting some school done and stayed on track with that. YAY! And the babysitting is going very well.

I went shopping the other day and got clothes for George and all 3 kids. The total was around $140 and our savings were around $350!!!! We got around 20 pieces of clothes for all 4 of them. So we got some AMAZING deals! And we got all of this at Belk in the mall. They had a great sale going on so I decided to go and get me some stuff Saturday. I got 10 shirts, a pair of jeans, a pair of pajama pants, a purse, a new wallet, and some under clothes all for around $220!!! I was in a much worse need for clothes than the others. We never get to shop like this and it truly was God's favor! He is so awesome!

Well, now I will share some pictures. Have a great week!

Amber getting ready to play in the snow.

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Jacob going out in the snow.

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Amber in the snow.

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Jacob and one of his friends playing.

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What fun!

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Me and my Aunt Sherry.

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Jacob

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Nathan

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Amber

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Amber being silly. This was such a great picture I had to share it!

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Prayers needed!!!

I have had some trouble since Sunday. I was sitting in church and started hurting in my belly and back. Well to make a long story short, after my nap Sunday afternoon I had to crawl out of the bed. George took me to the ER and they ran tests. They said that it was pulled muscles. Gave me meds and told me to follow up with my regular doctor.

Wednesday morning I woke up in just as much pain so I called my doctor, they can't see me until tomorrow. So I am going in the morning @ 10:30.

I really need prayers. The more my hubby and I have talked about this the more it reminds us of the time I had to have a cyst and my right ovary removed. It was about 4 years ago. I know my doctor will take care of me I just want all of this to go away!

So I will update after I know what is going on. Thank you all for your prayers!

Peanut testing...

Well, we are home from the appointment. We didn't get the answer we wanted but God is still good.

First the bad news- Jacob is still severely allergic to peanuts.

Good news- the test was negative for all other nuts. PRAISE GOD!!

We will be experimenting here at home with him soon with some walnuts or pecans. The doctor said to give him a slither of the nut every hour until he gets a whole nut. We need to get his Epipen filled first.

The reason he ate the cereal and had no reaction is a little complicated but I will try to explain. When he goes for a long time(8 years) without any peanut in his system his body builds up antibodies against the allergy. Once the peanuts get into his system, the antibodies slowly die away. So had he eaten a few more bowls of the cereal he probably would have reacted. There was some doctors trying to make a vaccine for peanut allergies but it didn't work like it needed to so they have had to start over. So I guess the prayers now need to be for the doctors to find what they need to to help these kids that are allergic.

More good news is that we found out that peanut oil that is used to cook with is not dangerous for Jacob. So he can eat at places that use peanut oil. Today he ate fries at Chick-Fil-A and he was all smiles! LOL

Once we found out that he is still allergic Jacob just cried. He was very disappointed. I told him that God brings good out of everything and he looked at me with his broken eyes and said,"Momma, there is nothing good about this." That was tough my friends! I can convince myself that God can bring good out of things all day long but looking at my little 9 year old in his sad face, how can I convince him? Today it was hard being a momma. After a while of talking about the positive, he is feeling much better.

So thank all of you for your prayers. Continue the prayers for the doctors with the research. And pray that Jacob will find God's good out of all of it.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

We went to the doctor...

FINALLY! LOL

Amber and Nate both have bronchitis. They now have antibiotics and a very strong cough medicine. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. Maybe tomorrow will be an easier day.

On Friday we are taking Jacob to be retested for his peanut/nut allergy. Please be praying. When he was 1 he had 2 severe reactions to peanuts and we had him tested. They said he had a lifelong life threatening allergy to all nuts. Mainly peanut though. Well, a few weeks ago we bought the new Cocoa Puffs Splits(I think that is the name). They were chocolate and vanilla. The regular Cocoa Puffs are safe so I didn't check the new ones. Well, after he ate them I saw that they are made with peanut flour. And he had NO REACTION!!!!! So we are very hopeful that God has healed him and that will change his life! I will keep you updated.

Update....

First I want to thank you Aprille for posting and asking for prayer for me. I am feeling better but still not 100%. I ended up taking my mom to the hospital and stayed there with her all afternoon and she did not have the virus, she has a small bowel obstruction. She was in a lot of pain and felt really bad but they have helped her some. Tomorrow they will decide from tests if she needs surgery or not.
I will update more later when I feel better. Just please pray for us all. Pray that my hubby and kids will stay well and that this sickness will leave QUICKLY!
Thank you for your prayers.
I love you all!

Busy times....

Hello all! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. We have had a lot going on. We have moved my mom in with us until she can get on her feet. I have started babysitting again. It is two sisters. One is 6 and in school most of the day and her sister is 2 and she and Nathan have a great time. Amber really gets along well with them too. It is more work than normal but I have been able to handle it so far. And having my mom here has been a good help.

I am doing good with my medicine. I have had one panic attack since being on the medicine and it was not that bad. I was able to talk myself through it and after about 30 minutes it went away.
I have had some surges of anxiety come on me and I have just had to breathe and deal with it. I know I am going to make it.

Homeschooling is going good. Jacob is learning new stuff and we are keeping on track. Amber is learning SO FAST! She is writing her name all by herself now after only having help one time. She has mastered the letters A, B, M, E, R, T. And most of that was on her own. She loves doing her workbooks everyday. And that makes it lots easier. Nathan also loves to do school. His coloring is getting more on the paper and less on my table! LOL

I am learning to soak in the little moments like hugging my hubby in the quiet of the night right before we go to sleep. That is when I feel the most normal. I also soak in the moments that I get to rock Nathan to sleep and after he is asleep. I love looking in his sweet face and kissing those baby cheeks. So I am ok and I am getting better. Though I still need your prayers. Each day is a struggle and I can only focus on one day at a time.

Well, that is my update for now. OH I almost forgot! Since I have quit posting on my weight loss blog I decided to update here. I have lost a few more pounds since being on my medicine, it makes me not have such a good appetite. So since January I have lost a total of 14 pounds. My goal for the year was 50 pounds but I am not sure I will make that. Slow and steady seems to be working for me. And I am keeping it off. In the past I have yo-yo dieted and that has finally come to a stop. I feel healthier now than I have in a long time. Physically that is, not so much mentally! LOL (it is either laugh or cry about it, I choose to laugh!)

Thank you for all your encouragement.

Until next time!

Rejoicing comes in the morning!

Where to start? The last few weeks have really been a blur. I have just been trying to get through every second without losing it. Looking back over my blog and who I was at the beginning to who I am now, I feel like I have gone backwards. I am not the same person. I feel like I have no insight or encouragement about God. I feel like I am not really sure who I am.

BUT....... that is all about to change!

I went to the doctor again on Friday and all my tests results were normal. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/panic attack disorder. Since February of this year I have been having panic attacks and didn't know that was what they were. In the last 2 weeks it had gotten to where I couldn't even go to Wal-Mart because the anxiety was so severe. I have a few close friends who have seen me have a panic attack but only my husband and my children have seen how bad it really got. At one point I thought I would have to go away for a while to a mental hospital or something to get better. It was bad. I couldn't cook for my family, I couldn't give my kids a bath nor could I play with my kids. Monday of this week it all came to a head and it was like I was having a panic attack all day long. I lost it!

My doctor and I have a plan for about the next 6 months and hopefully I can be totally better by then. Right now I am having to take nerve pills 1-2 times a day and they have started me on an antidepressant.
*And I have to ask here, please do not comment anything negative about antidepressants, weather it be your experience or something you may have heard because I think it would just cause me more chaos and anxiety. I have researched it and I know the risks and I have talked to a few people who are taking them. For me, right now, this is the only way that I can go forward with everyday basic life. The antidepressant is to help my body make serotonin. The doctor thinks that my body is low of this because of the stress and I need help to get it leveled out.

My doctor believes that because of all the things I have been through in the last year I am now dealing with this. I only have to take the nerve pills for the first month until the antidepressant gets to working good and then I will only be taking the antidepressant. The nerve pill is so I will hopefully not have any more panic attacks.

Many of you know that my mother has an addiction to prescription pills and that makes this tough for me to have to take pills. I know that I am not like her though and that I will be OK. But it is still tough.

Please just pray for me in the next few weeks that this new medicine will work and do what it is supposed to do.

I will still be posting here and there. And I will update you all on how I am feeling as I get better.
Thank you all for your prayers so far and for the continued prayers.

The last few weeks I have felt like I have been in the midnight and I felt like it would be forever before I would see my morning, but I have to say that I can see the dawn approaching! God hasn't left me nor forsaken me, just gotten my attention to let Him have the control that I have been trying so hard to hold onto.

Psalm 30:5 .....Weeping may remain for a night,but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Blessings of comfort.....

I want to thank everyone for the encouragement and awesome words in this time of struggle for me.

Tonight we received an amazing dinner from my neighbor friend JoAnna from JoAnna's Creative Expressions. She and her mom made Chicken casserole, Corn, Green Beans, Rolls and fresh Tomatoes. YUM YUM!!! She also sent over a card and some flowers. You know, God gives blessings when we most need them. Thank you JoAnna for being such a great friend! I appreciate you! I haven't had comfort food like that in a long time and it did help me feel better!

Today has been a little easier. I haven't cried at all today. I have had a couple of twinges of the craziness coming on but with the medicine I am taking I have felt better. Just totally wiped out. I have no energy and feel like I need to just sleep.

Please pray for us tomorrow as George goes back to work. I am sure we will be fine, but I would just appreciate knowing I am not alone.

Well, I am off to get under my quilt and watch some TV. Have a good night.

Prayers needed

Hello all. I am posting to ask for your prayers. This weekend and this moorning I had a bit of a breakdown. OK, more than a bit, I was a MESS! I think with all that I have dealt with in the last year with my step-dad passing away last September and my mom not dealing well with that and seeing her go downhill fast, my church closing and changing churches, trying to exercise and eat right and lose weight while losing sleep, the stress of not knowing if George would have a job or not and keeping my little Zoe at the same time we were starting school--it has all proven to be too much.

It is hard to explain in words what I have been feeling. But everyone I have talked to says that it sounds like anxiety and stress. I can't control the crying. I get to where I am afraid to leave the house bevause I am afraid I will have a panic attack. I can't eat because I am so sick. There are waves of this that have consumed me the last few days. I have even had a hard time having a conversation with people. I am still unsure if it is something physical or if it is just stress/anxiety. I went to the doctor and they did lots of blood work and I go for some tests in the morning to make sure everything is working right on the inside. Then I go on Friday to see my regular doctor and get all the results. Also my blood pressure was way high today.

After talking to Zoe's mom, she is deciding to put Zoe in daycare. It seems that keeping her is just too much for me right now. I am sad but I understand her point. Please continue to pray for her too and I am sure I will be keeping in touch with them about her surgery and I will let you all know.

This is tough for me because I usually have a good handle on things. Please pray that the doctor will be led by God and know what the problem is and how to help me. I am pretty desperate right now and have had lots of feelings of hopelessness, fear, panic. And I know this stuff isn't from God, it isn't His will for me to feel this way. That is why it is so hard to not be able to just snap out of it.

I will update when I feel better. Thank you all in advance!

Trusting......

Well, my work week is officially over. I will only be keeping Zoe Monday-Thursday. I get to sleep in tomorrow!!!! YAY!!!

It has been a good week. Zoe is getting into a good schedule. And so are the rest of us. We had George here with us today because he got laid off yesterday from his job. We aren't sure how long this is supposed to last but we are trusting God. That is really all we can do right now. I realize that we have never been the ones to provide for our family anyway, God has! So He will continue to do so. Just please pray with us that we will be sensitive to God and His leading through this time. (UPDATE: George was supposed to call after 4 to see what the plan was and see if there was any work for him or to get the plan for his unemployment. He was hired in about a year ago so we really thought he was going to be in the group of about 85 people that are getting laid off. Well, he goes back Monday!!!! PRAISE GOD!!! We are so relieved!!! And he had been told that if he got moved to another job it would be the night shift(bad thing to us!) and this job is day shift!!! God is so good!!! I am in awe right now!)

I am excited about what God has in store for our lives. We are starting a new school year Monday and we are SO ready. I feel like there is a lot of newness that He is bringing into our lives.

Tonight we are going to a steak dinner provided by George's fishing club and April is keeping my kids. HOW EXCITING!! I get a date with my hubby, a free steak dinner and my kids will have a great time with their Aunt April and Uncle Mitch!!! God is good! My kids enjoy going there and that means I can relax and enjoy myself. That makes a difference. THANKS APRIL!!!

Well, I guess I need to go and finish getting everyone ready. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Prayer Request

Hello all!

On Monday I will start keeping my little Zoe. She and her mom came over yesterday so we could get acquainted and she was just precious! It is going to be a blast!!!

I don't have a picture yet but I will post one as soon as I get one. She is about 2 months old and she has a heart condition. She is going to have surgery sometime in September. She has 2 holes in the chambers of her heart and 2 blockages. Please make little Zoe a matter of prayer. She is very healthy considering her condition. She eats normally and is gaining weight just like a baby who isn't sick.

If any of you have ever dealt with this kind of problem with their baby please contact me and give me any information that you may have. Nora(Zoe's mom) asked if I could find out any information to do it, she would appreciate it.

I will update you with more information about her surgery closer to time. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Balance!!!!!!

1 Peter 5:8

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

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Good Tuesday morning all! As you can see, God has been speaking to me a little about self-control. So I thought it only fair to share it with you too! LOL

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Seriously, we are coming up on the start of our school year and I am having trouble doing the little things I know that I am supposed to do. Like getting up early, cleaning up my pantry(school area), DUSTING!!! It shouldn't be that hard! BUT.....I have spent the summer being...... well .....LAZY!!!!

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I have this list of things that have got to get done before we start school and I have started on it but there is no motivation! Then I pick up my devotion book from Joyce Meyer and yesterday's entry was talking about making time with God a priority.

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To quote my friend Joyce-"If the devil can't convince you to be idle and passive, he will drive you to do too much. As soon as you are out of balance he can devour you.(see 1 Peter 5:8 above) The word disciple comes from the word discipline. To be a disciple of Jesus, you must discipline yourself to follow his ways."

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I never realized that the word "balance" was in the word of God! Interesting......

I will have to study more on that!

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I don't think the devil is trying to get me to be too idle or give me too much to do. I think that I allowed myself to get out of balance and that is my current problem! I may be the only Jesus that someone else may ever see and I do NOT want them to see an unbalanced, frustrated, tired, unfocused Jesus. Well, that would be impossible because those traits do not flow when you talk about Jesus. He is the opposite of those things!

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So now I know my mistake and I am in the beginning stages of fixing it. Or allowing God to fix it! Because without Him I can't do a thing to fix it!!!!

Please be praying for me.

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Have a great Tuesday! God is GOOD!

His Mercy Is New Every Morning

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

24 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,

"Therefore I hope in Him!"

I have to apologize for being so weak lately. I had gotten my focus off and let a little stomach virus bring on the whining Michelle. I do struggle with this. When things get tough my old person would curl up in the fetal position and give up. But my new person knows that His mercy is new EVERY morning! No matter what we are going through, His faithfulness is great and we have to let Him be our portion and trust only in HIM!!!

I want to thank you all for your prayers. I truly have felt them today. I took my shower and felt so much better! I cleaned some on the bathrooms and cleaned my kitchen and living room. So now I have a head start on my Monday cleaning and getting all the germs out of the house.

I hope you all have a great Monday morning and awesome blessings all day!!!

The evil strikes again!!!

Well, it has happened. I now have the dreaded stomach virus.

I guess that's what I get for taking care of my children.

Please pray for us, I was up most of the night and my hubby doesn't feel too great. He fights it off. He will curl up into a ball and hold off hurling. Not sure how he does that, but I can't. I tried. Didn't work. So now the kiddos have to take care of us today! :0/

Sick :0(

Well, so much for getting back into a schedule.

I have this terrible allergy/sinus crud. It started Friday after being at a cookout where there were 2 dogs and a cat. I went to the walk-in clinic Saturday morning, got a sinus cocktail shot and some sample allergy pills. Well, I now feel like I have been hit by a truck! It is almost like I am walking around in a fog. My body even feels numb part of the time.

I continue to really want to get up and organize something, but I just can't convince my body to do it. I am so behind on some things and have made a list of what needs to be done. So I guess that is a start for when I get better.

Please pray for a speedy get well for me, I truly am not myself.