Rejoicing comes in the morning!

Where to start? The last few weeks have really been a blur. I have just been trying to get through every second without losing it. Looking back over my blog and who I was at the beginning to who I am now, I feel like I have gone backwards. I am not the same person. I feel like I have no insight or encouragement about God. I feel like I am not really sure who I am.

BUT....... that is all about to change!

I went to the doctor again on Friday and all my tests results were normal. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/panic attack disorder. Since February of this year I have been having panic attacks and didn't know that was what they were. In the last 2 weeks it had gotten to where I couldn't even go to Wal-Mart because the anxiety was so severe. I have a few close friends who have seen me have a panic attack but only my husband and my children have seen how bad it really got. At one point I thought I would have to go away for a while to a mental hospital or something to get better. It was bad. I couldn't cook for my family, I couldn't give my kids a bath nor could I play with my kids. Monday of this week it all came to a head and it was like I was having a panic attack all day long. I lost it!

My doctor and I have a plan for about the next 6 months and hopefully I can be totally better by then. Right now I am having to take nerve pills 1-2 times a day and they have started me on an antidepressant.
*And I have to ask here, please do not comment anything negative about antidepressants, weather it be your experience or something you may have heard because I think it would just cause me more chaos and anxiety. I have researched it and I know the risks and I have talked to a few people who are taking them. For me, right now, this is the only way that I can go forward with everyday basic life. The antidepressant is to help my body make serotonin. The doctor thinks that my body is low of this because of the stress and I need help to get it leveled out.

My doctor believes that because of all the things I have been through in the last year I am now dealing with this. I only have to take the nerve pills for the first month until the antidepressant gets to working good and then I will only be taking the antidepressant. The nerve pill is so I will hopefully not have any more panic attacks.

Many of you know that my mother has an addiction to prescription pills and that makes this tough for me to have to take pills. I know that I am not like her though and that I will be OK. But it is still tough.

Please just pray for me in the next few weeks that this new medicine will work and do what it is supposed to do.

I will still be posting here and there. And I will update you all on how I am feeling as I get better.
Thank you all for your prayers so far and for the continued prayers.

The last few weeks I have felt like I have been in the midnight and I felt like it would be forever before I would see my morning, but I have to say that I can see the dawn approaching! God hasn't left me nor forsaken me, just gotten my attention to let Him have the control that I have been trying so hard to hold onto.

Psalm 30:5 .....Weeping may remain for a night,but rejoicing comes in the morning.