To all my "normal" friends, you know who you are!!

Kids, DON"T TRY ANY OF THIS AT HOME!!!!!!! (wait until you go to a friends house!)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly be removed.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You will then be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape!

7. Remember! Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.